How to know if you idolize marriage

Marriage is a wonderful and serious thing, but sadly, it is being watered down today. This could be another topic for another blog post. To idolize something means to put something or someone above something else; for example, for Christians, it will always come down to whether that one thing is above God. Marriage can easily become the one thing that becomes an idol in a person’s life. Here are some signs to look out for when considering if the need to get married has become an idol in your life.

1. All or Nothing

Everyone has goals in their life along with timelines, and marriage can naturally fit in this plans. When you think of marriage and your plans for the future, if marriage is a non-negotiable for you, that’s a red flag. Having the desire to be married is a good thing; the issue is when you think your life won’t be fulfilling until you are married.

2. Unable to Celebrate Others

Life will not wait for you to get your relationship to the altar before anyone else can get theirs. If you feel depressed and/or out of place when celebrating someone else’s engagement, that is another red flag. Not only is that selfish, but that is being mad at things not going your way in terms of relationships, being controlling of how things play out in your life. Having the mindset of not being able to be happy for others for having something you may not have yet, or not all means you idolize that thing. 

3. Worry

Every year you age, you become more worried because of the lack thereof. The lack of money, career elevation, and or your failure to get married. You become worried because you think the older you become, the fewer chances you’ll have to find a husband or wife. Worrying doesn’t open up more opportunities; it just increases your chances of making mistakes. Marrying a mistake already sounds like a nightmare.

4. Settling for Crumbs

When you idolize marriage, it can be very easy to marry anyone who shows you any sort of interest. Not everyone you date will be the person you marry, but sometimes you can convince someone badly enough that you are meant to marry you. The last thing you want to do is convince anyone that they should stay with you. When you have to change who you are, excuse odd behavior, or convince someone to be with you, that is called settling for crumbs. We settle when we don’t think we deserve better and when we idolize marriage.

Not everyone will be married in their life, but everyone can have a fulfilling life.