A Woman’s Most Deadliest Weapon: Gossip

What Gossip truly is and why it’s destructive

You Gossip!

It has been a running joke that women and gossip go hand in hand. It’s how women bond with other women over a drink and some cheese with crackers. I know what you are thinking, “But men gossip too!” Well, duh, everyone since the beginning of time gossips, it’s easy to do! It begins with complaining about a coworker or sharing something, also known as “tea,” that should not have been shared with others, even those with whom we share confidence. However, we need to be honest with ourselves: men talk, but women tend to talk more, and that might be because women connect with other women on a deeper level more quickly (this could be a whole other topic we can discuss later). The moral of the story is… we need to begin to admit we have a problem, and the problem is gossip, and it’s a nasty one. When was the last time you walked away before the conversation led to speaking about Suzy and how much your coworker hates her attitude? Oh, you can’t remember? Probably because you were waiting for someone to bring it up so you could talk about her, too?! 

It’s Personal

     Listen, I am not saying I never gossiped; no one is perfect. I’m writing this as a way to hold myself accountable. Let me explain. I recently became a victim of the harsh reality of how disgusting gossip can be and lost a couple of friends along the way. It allowed me to reflect and truly see gossip for what it is. Gossiping is a big problem for me because I’ll trick myself into thinking I’m not doing it by saying the following: “I need to pray for her because…”, and “I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but…” I would mask this as venting, but I was just complaining and being lazy because I did not want to pray about my situation. Women in particular fall into such harsh gossiping patterns because it’s so accepted and normalized in our society.

4 Reasons why Gossiping is so Bad

1. Gossiping is a reflection of your feelings and weaknesses, and when I think about this, I literally cringe and feel embarrassed.

2. If you feel comfortable enough to gossip about someone to your friend nine times out of ten, you will also gossip about that friend.

3. Why are we forgetting that it’s a sin??

4. We literally ruin people’s reputations when we gossip.

How Can You Stop?

Sooooo let’s get to the solution.

1. Get your life together
I noticed a big reason why I would gossip is that I lacked self-control. How can I get self-control? Not relying on my strength

2. Get an accountability partner
Older people are great for this! You need to be honest about your struggle with someone you can trust to gracefully put you in your place when you need it. 

3. Literally, stand up for yourself 

No one is forcing you into these conversations, and if they are…”HR, yeah, I need to talk to you ASAP.” This is why I created the Gossiping is icky sticker. People WILL know that you do not like gossiping.
Also, you know those icebreakers that are sometimes a waste of time, use that opportunity to let your community know, “Hey, fun fact, I hate gossiping, so please don’t talk about others to me because it’ll just be an awkward conversation.” Some people appreciate the transparency.